HAPPY INTERNATIONAL BE KIND TO LAWYERS DAY! (Previously known as National Be Kind To Lawyer’s Day!!) Have you not heard of it? Have you not read my article on this Special Celebration from years past? If your answer to these questions is NO, then you, my friend, are missing out (especially if you are a lawyer)!
So, what is this International Be Kind To Lawyers Day? I am so glad you asked! Steve Hughes, a non-lawyer from St. Louis, has been working with attorneys for many years now through his consulting firm Hit Your Stride, LLC. Whenever Steve merely mentions that he works with lawyers, he is more often than not met with snide comments, jokes and scowls. He hears things like, “Lawyers? I bet that’s a treat.” Or, “Lawyers? You poor thing.” So he asked himself, “Is it too much to ask to be nice to lawyers for just one day?” And in answer to his question, not to mention as a result of his playing defense counsel for an entire profession, the idea for National Be Kind To Lawyers Day was born.
The terms “Attorney” and “Lawyer” have always had such a negative connotation attached to them. Steve explains:
Lawyers all over the globe get a lot of grief…just for being lawyers. Jokes are made about them and they consistently rank as one of the least respected professions on the planet. (Sandwiched between financial planners and cigarette manufacturers.) Yet, when regular people need help writing a will, running a business or avoiding jail time, who do they flock to? Lawyers!
He states on his website that one day when he:
…was putting away the decorations from National Bubble Wrap Day (late January) his thoughts drifted to National Ice Cream Day (late July) and then it struck him. Why not a special day for lawyers? Lawyers are just as good as bubble wrap and ice cream, in fact, they’re better.
After extensive planning, detailed research and countless reviews by a team of legal experts, NATIONAL BE KIND TO LAWYERS DAY was established as an annual holiday celebrated on the second Tuesday in April
This day, set aside in honor of all attorneys, and other law professionals far and wide, happens to fall on the second Tuesday of April. This date was the date of choice, ironically, “…because it is strategically sandwiched in between April Fool’s day and Tax Day April 15th.” And I agree with Steve, lawyers are just so misunderstood. Regardless of whether lawyers are misunderstood, Steve says: “I’m thrilled with the growth and acceptance of Be Kind to Lawyers Day. Every year our website gets more and more visitors and the press has supported with numerous positive mentions.”
Just the sheer mention of the words lawyer and attorney have probably already stirred up a “Lawyer Joke” or 2 in your mind, even if you are a lawyer! I mean really, isn’t it a shame how only 99% of the lawyers can give the whole profession a bad name? I know, I know, bad joke. But you must admit that the entire concept of National Be Kind To Lawyers Day has a bit of a comedic twist to it. In fact I wasn’t even surprised to hear that prior to starting his own consulting firm, Steve Hughes was a stand-up comedian.
Steve is funny and lighthearted in his approach. It’s nice to see that there are other non-lawyers who, like me, appreciate those within the legal profession. Great job Steve and to all lawyers and non-lawyers within the legal profession, have a VERY HAPPY NATIONAL BE KIND TO LAWYERS DAY!
HOW TO PARTICIPATE
If you are not sure how to celebrate this holiday, Steve is kind enough to offer some suggested idea starters that he calls How To Participate, to get your legal kindness flowing. Here are a small few of my favorites:
- Abstain from telling lawyer jokes for 24 hours.
- If you can’t abstain, tell your funniest lawyer joke but switch out the lawyer with your profession. (I bet it’s still funny.)
- Do some simple repairs around the house with a gavel instead of your trusty hammer.
- Take notes at a meeting on a legal pad. Don’t you just feel smarter looking at the glorious yellow hue of that 8-1/2″ x 14″ pad?
FACTS, QUOTES AND JOKES
In keeping with fun spirit and tradition, in order to celebrate the lawyers in our lives I thought I’d share some fun facts, quotes and even some jokes I’ve found that even the lawyers I know, including my husband, the highly trusted and well respected IPWatchdog himself, patent attorney Gene Quinn, might find humorous. Of course, you might want to refrain from these jokes today, or swap out “lawyer” with “used car salesman” or something like that. Nevertheless, it is jokes like these that lend credibility to the argument that a holiday such as National Be Kind To Lawyers Day is greatly needed.
OK now for the fine print…
Legal Disclaimer: Before we can proceed, let it be known that the information you are about to read is not intended to offend anyone, including my husband, Gene Quinn, and many of his closets friends and colleagues who are all lawyers themselves. This is written solely for fun and given that it is about legal professionals I assume a legal disclaimer is required no matter how silly the actual content of the disclaimer is. Those of you who typically read my stuff know that I am not a lawyer and that this is not actually a legal disclaimer, but when written in small print and read in a fast, monotone dialogue, looks and sounds really cool. Hey, I love MY lawyer! I must, right? I married him!
Now, Let the fun commence!
Funny Quotes About Lawyers
It is better to be a mouse in a cat’s mouth than a man in a lawyer’s hands. ~ Spanish Proverb
A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns. ~ Mario Puzo, from the God Father
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice. ~ Franklin P. Jones
A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. ~ Patrick Murray
The Lawyer’s Motto
“Insofar as manifestations of functional deficiencies are agreed by any and all concerned parties to be imperceivable, and are so stipulated, it is incumbent upon said heretofore mentioned parties to exercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent maintenance procedures.”
In Other Words:
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” ~ Anonymous
I can’t help myself! Some of these jokes are just REALLY funny! I know I’m bad. And although this post has been full of humor, as is Steve’s site, I encourage everyone to check out Bekindtolawyers.com especially the Cool Lawyer Facts tab and the How To Participate Tab. In fact here are some of my favorites from both pages:
Cool Lawyer Facts
Here’s a list of famous people who attended law school (at least partially), but are known for something other than the law.
- Vince Lombardi – Football Coach and Member of the NFL Hall of Fame
- Alan Page – Minnesota Supreme Court, Member of the NFL Hall of Fame and one of the Purple People Eaters
- Steve Young – NFL Quarterback and Member of the NFL Hall of Fame
- Tony La Russa – Former Manager of the St. Louis Cardinals
- Ray Manzarek – The Doors keyboardist
- 26 of 44 U.S. Presidents including such notables as Adams, Lincoln, Arthur (oh yes), FDR, and Obama
- Robert Louis Stevenson – Scottish writer (“Arrgh, I’ve been kidnapped by Mr. Hyde!”)
- John Grisham – Awesome legal thriller writer and bestselling author
- US Senator Fred Thompson – “Law & Order” actor
- Ozzie Nelson – “Ozzie and Harriet Show” star
How about some famous and not-so-famous quotes about lawyers and the law?
- “Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law.” ~ Sophocles
- “A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” ~ Robert Frost
- “He who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.” ~ Anonymous
- “Law is nothing unless close behind it stands a warm living public opinion.” ~ Wendell Phillips
According to the American Bar Association there are 1,143,358 active and inactive lawyers in the U.S. (Active or inactive, we still think you’re top drawer!)
Approximately 140,000 prospective students take the LSAT each year.
Every year American lawyers donate, yes donate, hundreds of thousands of hours of their time (i.e. millions of dollars of billable hours) to work on pro bono cases. For those of you who are not familiar with the term pro bono, pro comes from the Latin word “professional” as in sports and bono refers to the lead singer of U2, the legendary Irish rock band. Just kidding. Pro bono means “done without compensation for the public good.” And we never seem to hear about this in the media. Hmmm…
Funny Lawyer Jokes
Q: What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.
Good Vs. Bad Lawyers
Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.
Good Vs. Great Lawyers
Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Q. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
Good Vs. Bad Lawyers
Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
What do you call a…
Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
Lawyers Vs. Liars
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.
Lawyer Professors To Change A Light Bulb
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Lawyers Vs. Boxing Refs
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.
Lawyers Vs. UFOs
Q: What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them, but you never see them.
Where’s Your Attorney?
In the middle of a trial, the judge asks the defendant:
“You didn’t bring your attorney today?”
“No, your honor. I’ve decided to tell the truth.”
And believe it or not, Gene told me this is one he always liked:
Q: What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start