Today is the day we celebrate our Independence some 233 years ago.  What better time to take a look and see what patents exist with an Independence theme.  It would seem that in preparation for the Centennial celebration there were a number of individuals who were quite interested in obtaining design patents.  The one below caught my eye in particular, I am not exactly sure why.  Perhaps I am being overly sentimental, but as I read this particular patent a certain pride seems to shine through in the words.  We can poke fun all we like at the inventions of others, but as an inventor myself I know how much of yourself goes into an invention.  It becomes a project like none other, and while any particular idea or invention might seem odd to you, to the inventor it is a piece of themselves.  This particular design patent, Design No. 8310 entitled “Design for fans,” seemed to capture both a great pride in America, as well as pride in what has been created, and for that reason I selected it above all others.  The fact that it also includes a bit of poetry is just a bonus.

US Patent No. 7,536,731

So much has been made about the United States Supreme Court’s decision in KSR v. Teleflex, which happened just over 2 years ago.  Occasionally I like to take a look at how the Patent Office is handling KSR.  Admittedly, this is not a scientific study, and is more aimed at having fun and perhaps also explaining so we never forget just how absurd the Supreme Court’s decision in KSR actually was.  Those familiar with the KSR decision and history will recall that the non-patent experts on the Supreme Court, including Justice Antonin Scalia who openly admitted he didn’t understand patent law during oral arguments — calling patents “gobbledygook,” decided to completely do away with an objective, understandable and repeatable test in favor of a completely subjective test without any concrete boundaries.  Yes, in their infinite wisdom the Supreme Court decided that the law of what is obvious should be conducted on a case by case analysis and an invention is obvious if it is “common sense.”

Adjustable elevated serving tray for pets
US Patent No. 7,207,290
Issued April 24, 2007

Now I think I have officially seen everything!  An adjustable serving tray for pets?  What is even more surprising is that according to the Background of the Invention this is a fairly crowded field of technology, with elevated pet feeders being well known.  Who knew?  Apparently it is not healthy for an animal, particularly a larger animal such as a large dog, to eat off the floor.  The Background also says that crawling insects can also easily get into the pets food when the bowl is on the ground.  I am sure that is a problem in at least some situations, but exactly how is it that an ant or other small insect would not be able to crawl up the leg of this adjustable tray?

Subterranean termite detection
US Patent No. 6,526,692
Issued March 4, 2003

Here is an interesting obscure patent from IPWatchdog past, but one too good to miss.  This originally caught my eye while reading the New York Times. The article in the Times is titled: Using Termite Flatulence Against Them. This all seemed like a joke, but it must be true, right? Just the same, and perhaps in light of the time recent past, I decided to verify. It does seem that the United States Patent Office has granted a patent apparatus and method for detecting the presence of wood destroying subterranean termites. Apparently, when wood destroying termites are present they generate combustible gas, which can be detected by the combustible gas detector. I don’t know enough about the state of the art in flatulence to issue an opinion on whether this is a “true” invention that warrants the mantle of US Patent, but it was just too good to pass up and had to enter the Museum of Obscure Patents.

Collar apparatus enabling secure handling of a snake by tether
US Patent No. 6,490,999
Issued December 10, 2002

This invention is one of the all-time greats in the Obscure Patent category, and is back by popular demand (or at least the request of a longtime IPWatchdog.com reader).  As in practically all patents, there are multiple claims. The first claim and those depending from the first claim relate to the collar apparatus that allows for controlling the snake. While that is funny enough, no doubt, the real knee slapping humor associated with this invention comes when you read that claim 11 covers a system for walking a snake! (See picture above). In order to keep this appropriate for family fun I will allow you, the reader, to insert your own joke here. Now, with that laugh over, what in the world was the inventor thinking?

Bathing Poncho
US Patent No. 7,509,689
Issued: March 31, 2009

I am almost speechless, which does not happen often.  I came across this patent over the weekend.  It was NFL Draft weekend, which means that I was parked in front of the TV all weekend.  Between picks, and while waiting for a pick from the Dallas Cowboys that never came on Saturday, I was flipping through some recently issued patents online.  I found some really interesting inventions, so good patents that I can use to teach with and a handful of patents that just make you want to scratch your head.  Lets just say that this particular patent fell into the last category.  The photograph initially caught my attention, and then the name “Bathing poncho” piqued my interest even further.  Why would anyone want to wear a poncho while bathing?  Thankfully, the patent answered this question in the Description of the Related Art, explaining:

 Over the last several years the patent allowance rate has fallen from about 70% of applications becoming patents to a low of 42% of patent applications becoming issued patents.  During this same time the Patent Office has continued to proclaim that quality has risen, which everyone in the industry knows to be false.  The real tragedy is that the Supreme Court was supposed to have solved the problem of stupid patents with its decision in KSR v. Teleflex.  I am not a fan of the Supreme Court’s ruling because obviousness is now based on common sense, which means we might as well be back to the requirement that an invention display a “flash of creative genius,” which was specifically legislated out of the patent laws in 1952.  But if the Patent Office really has achieved unprecedented quality, and the Supreme Court has staked the deck against those inventions that are just ordinary, uninspired and not new, then we should not have stupid patents issued any more, right?  Think again!  At a time when many start-up companies cannot get patents issued and are unable to attract investors, not much has changed on the silly invention front.

Finger mounted insect dissuasion device and method of use
US Patent No. 7,484,328
Issued: February 3, 2009

Pet umbrella and combined pet leash
US Patent No. 6,871,616
Issued October 28, 2003

Before I start getting to deep, allow me to point out that I am a animal lover and a dog person. That being said, I think this takes things just a little bit too far. Dog lovers always spoil their pets, but an umbrella specifically designed to keep a K-9 dry? In my home our dog – Daisy – has become something of a “treat snob,” now only liking certain treats and not others. What a life?!?! Anyway, I digress. A dog to a dog person is much more than a pet I suppose, but a personal umbrella for the dog? Now I think that is just a little bit over the top, or perhaps just farther than I am willing to personally go.  I love you Daisy, but a special umbrella just for you is probably not in the cards anytime soon.

Environmental friendly animal excrement collector
US Patent No. 7,461,616
Issued December 9, 2008

Every once in a while I come across a patent that I know is going to become one of my all-time favorites, and this is certainly one of those patents.  This may be the most ingenious of all inventions and I would still want to include it in my collection of Obscure Patents simply because of the primary patent drawing, shown to the left.  Maybe the dogs I have had my entire are not the target audience because I know for sure that none of them would ever stand there quietly wearing a contraption like this.  The thought of trying to get this on a dog and then what the dog would do to try and get it off is running through my head like a Seinfeld episode that never grows old.  This invention appears to be something of a colostomy bag dogs!  But if the invention works the way it seems like it is intended to work then I say all the neighbor dogs should be forced to wear one of these things so that they stop messing up my lawn!