Posts Tagged: "Santa Claus"

There is no doubt that Santa Claus contributes greatly to the staggering 2017 predictions for holiday spending… Indeed, after reading all these patents (and the many others I found) it seems clear that there is a long tradition of inventors seeking patents on various items inspired by or relating to Santa Claus himself. And unlike many other celebrities, no doubt owing to Santa’s jolly nature, he seems perfectly comfortable with inventors using his name and likeness as they invent toys, figurines and other gadgets that are useful for conjuring up the loving spirit of the man during the holiday season.

Dear Mr. Claus: You recently contacted this office to confirm the availability of your proposed “SANTA CLAUS” trademark for use in your business and, if this mark is non-infringing, to assist you in registering it for U.S. and international use. For these purposes you describe your business as “delivering games and toys to good little boys and girls as gifts for Christmas.”

The solution to this intractable puzzle was provided by Santa in the Patent, which describes a grid of enormous, land-based wind turbines running back and forth between the east and west coasts of the United States, arranged alternately parallel and perpendicular to the equator. This grid, claims the Patent, propels a sled that contains an assembly of wind-catching parachutes and, as a backup propulsion system, a team of stimulated ruminants who respond to their catchy Teutonic names. The sled itself is manned by a right jolly old elf who is prevented from being blown off by a sophisticated harnessing process adapted from the airline industry and more fully described in the Patent.

Later this evening, on December 24th, Santa Claus will guide his team of nine reindeer, led by Rudolph’s red nose, from the North Pole to points across the globe, spreading good cheer and presents to children of all races, languages and creeds. At that time, the progress of Santa’s journey will be closely tracked by the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD), a joint operation of the United States and Canadian federal governments. With many years of Santa tracking under its belt, it’s possible that NORAD has the world’s largest compendium of data collected from analysis of Santa’s previous Christmas trips. Last year, the agency released a fact sheet about Santa’s sleigh, reported by multiple news outlets.