Obscure Patent: Clothes Protection System

Clothes Protection System [ HTML ] [ PDF ]
US Patent No. 7,350,239
Issued April 1, 2008

The United States Patent Office issues some real interesting patents on a regular basis, but over the years it has become apparent that there are those within the Patent Office with a real sense of humor.  April Fools day is a national day for pranks, and not to be left out the Patent Office seems to like to issues crazy inventions on April 1.  This invention is a case in point.  On April 1, 2008, a US patent was issued on what appears to be a bib.  You simply open up the opening and put your neck into the center opening and then close around your neck using a Velcro securing mechanism. 

According to the application:

The present invention is a clothes protector system to be used by adults while sitting at a table and dining. It is designed for people who are living independently. It can be described as a system which is made from a piece of light weight cloth that is about 18 inches wide and about 36 inches long. The cloth has a neck hole which is about 6 inches in diameter. The neck hole starts about 2 inches from the top of the fabric and is centered with about 6 inches of fabric on each side. This will protect the clothing from the bottom of the chin, down the chest and across the lap. Note is also taken that the clothes protection system as described herein is reversible thus extending the utility of the invention.

I guess the inventor is of the belief that those adults who are single and living alone don’t like doing laundry and are slobs.  So rather than run the risk of spilling foot on your clothing and thus not being able to wear the clothing a second time without washing, you simply use this unique clothes protection system.  That way you can be sloppy, spill food and drink all over yourself and not have to worry about others noticing the spillage on your clothes.  It does not appear that the clothes protection system will be able to ensure that your clothes don’t smell, so if you are going to use this invention to prevent spilling you may also want to invest in a good deodorant and maybe even some perfume!